


samsara

by lunamars (lunnamars)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25629985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunnamars/pseuds/lunamars
Summary: He didn’t love her, but also didn’t hate her and he's not a monster to the point of not feeling bad about the death of a good person.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro & Tashigi, Roronoa Zoro/Tashigi
Comments: 83
Kudos: 49
Collections: Set Sail One Piece Mid Year Exchange 2020





	1. dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nntssy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nntssy/gifts).



> So, this is for Nana as part of the Set Sail! One Piece Mid Year Exchange. Although you did not specify which content you enjoy, I tried to include the other requests. Apart from that, you do know I'm a sucker for angst, emotions, and inner turmoil, right? Oh, and happy ending...? Just kidding. Yes, happy ending as well.
> 
> I really hope you like it!

“Dead, huh?”

“That’s what I said,” Smoker said in a nonchalant voice. Zoro could only blink.

 _Dead. She’s dead._

_That stupid woman is dead._

"Oi, stop that, Smokey! It's not funny!" Luffy's voice expressed all the disbelief they were feeling. 

_Nah. That woman is stubborn as a mule. She'd never die so easily._

Zoro didn't know if he wasn't capable of grasping the gravity of the situation or if he just didn't want to. The whole plight was so odd, so out of this world, that it contrasted so much with the carefree air around them. It was one of those days where the sky was painted in such a baby-blue color and full of white and radiant clouds, the horizon bright, the sun vivid and beaming with life, the sea not raging, calm as a lake. The weather was also nice, the wind, calm and soothing, messing with his rebellious hair but not able to ease his quickening pulse.

"Who gave you the idea that I'm joking, Mugiwara?" Smoker's expression was not friendly, too stern, an inexplicable emotion behind it. _He is joking, right? He has to be joking_. 

Zoro started to feel numb, from the calloused fingers in his hand to his toes. The marine woman? Dead? Not possible. He had to ask again.

"Dead like _dead-dead_?" He knew this was a really stupid question but it had rolled off of his tongue without him thinking through it.

"Did I stutter, boy?" Smoker glared at him, his stare piercing right through his good eye.

Zoro looked at him, but could only blink. Once. Twice.

_Glasses is dead?_

"That's bullshit, Smoker! How the hell did she die? How did _you_ let her die?!" Zoro glanced at Sanji and saw how the blonde was fuming, his voice wavering. If it was from despair or anger, he couldn’t tell.

"I don’t own you any explanations. I'm only telling you brats out of courtesy. I know you don't give a shit, but she was kinda fond of you bunch," Smoke took a drag, followed by another, and crossed his arms. "God only knows why."

They had met him during their stroll around the city, sitting on a bench on the harbor, looking at the horizon, clearly lost in thought. When Zoro noticed him, he instantly tensed, annoyance already running through his veins; dreading the moment he would look around and meet her eyes and hear her words even before she would utter them. But no storm of a woman in sight and Luffy somehow sensed something was wrong.

And it was. Smoker only glanced at them, dark circles under his eyes, his gloomy state preventing him from even scowling at them. Luffy straight up asked what happened and the older man really wasn't himself because he answered without thinking twice. 

"So… it's true then?" Robin's tone was cautious and she had a frown on her face. Zoro stared at her for a while and the woman had the expression when the gears on her head were turning.

"Yeah."

Smoker seemed sincere and Zoro swallowed hard.

_The sword nerd is actually dead._

He was definitely stunned, but the swordsman wasn’t surprised for not feeling any suffocating despair. He knew the news was shocking, but it's not like they had anything between them. They had no sense of friendship, no companionship, and definitely nothing more than that. Those were things he had no desire to think of either.

Tashigi was simply the ghost of his dead friend. 

Of course, he wasn’t a monster — they knew her, and knowing about her death was a strange blow of some sort to all of them, so it's obvious he felt like the whole situation was not fair. She was a kind woman, that much he could say, and it was simply not right for fate to take her away. 

Zoro clenched his fists and asked again, "How did she die, Smoker?"

The Vice-Admiral glared at him but decided to comply to their whims. "Mission. Died to protect our men. They said she fought long enough so all of them could escape to safety," Smoker shook his head and looked at each one of them, "I suppose you all know that moron was pretty selfless and had no regard for her own life whatsoever."

_Dead. She's dead._

"A mission where a Captain died? I didn't see anything in the newspapers," Robin squinted and looked directly at Smoker. The man didn't look away, listening attentively as she continued, "Nor about her death or this mission."

"It was a classified mission."

"Yet, you're telling us."

"Already said, Nico Robin, just out of courtesy." Smoker said between gritted teeth. 

"I see. Her sword?" Robin asked, not minding his menacing tone at all. He narrowed his eyes but answered anyway.

"Lost."

"Her funeral?"

"A week ago. At Samsara island. It seemed to be a special island for her for who knows the fucking reason, so we threw her ashes there." The wind was strong and wild now, putting out his cigar, Smoker tried to light a new one anyway.

"Hmm, one week from here. And no special ceremony from the Navy?" Robin asked, putting a hand on her chin, the gears clearly still turning. Zoro listened to the exchange of words, but he wasn't looking at the marine anymore. His eyes were fixed on the one thing he carried with him that actually had a part of the annoying woman. Sandai Kitetsu was the sword she had made sure would be with him, being part of his journey.

Smoker snorted, dragging Zoro out of his thoughts, "The cocksuckers on the top don't give a fuck about Captains."

They all agreed. The World Government and the Navy were two rotten organizations, not even the older man could deny that. Tashigi and he obeyed corrupted people while trying to figure out their own idea of justice, Zoro knew their wish clashed with their obligations.

"I see. Her family?" Robin kept inquiring.

"None. Orphan. She was on her own." Smoker stated, without blinking, a direct and blunt reply. _Orphan and alone. I guess I wished I could have asked how did she manage to survive._

"I see."

"Done with the interrogation, Nico Robin?"

"Forgive me. It must be painful for you, Vice-Admiral," she answered with an apologetic tone. They all fell silent, mulling over their recent discovery. The harbor was quiet, it was Sunday after all, and Zoro was able to hear the calm sound of the sea. Terns flying high, free as the marine woman would never be. He clenched one fist and the other hand gripped the handle of Sandai. _So fucking unfair._

Smoker cleared his throat, successfully lighting a cigar and announced, completely annoyed now, "Whatever. Just get the fuck out of my sight. Consider it another courtesy," he had his usual scowl again and then, mumbled, "For her."

_Fuck. She is dead._


	2. a heavy page

It has been four days since the day they had met Smoker and the Crow's Nest had almost become his home. He'd still go outside, of course, he had to eat in the galley and sleep in his bed. And it wasn't like he was feeling depressed, he really just wanted to be alone. No big deal. 

Besides, the Crow's Nest was peaceful how it was supposed to be, all his belongings there making him feel more at ease. The smell was different though, it was good and not the distinct smell of his sweat since Nami almost bit his head off for not cleaning the place for about two weeks. Zoro didn't know why she even bothered, this was a place for him to train, it's not like he's sleeping there or bringing important people in. But he complied because the woman decided to charge him for the days he refused to clean. He defied her in the beginning but there was no fighting her when money was involved. 

So for her not to collect his soul instead, he had tidied his things up. He couldn't actually complain because that helped to distract him. To think in the present and not of "what-ifs".

It was a good day outside the windows of the Crow's Nest, the afternoon was cozy, he  _ could _ be there enjoying the nice weather. The problem was that he had been there after their lunch, on the deck, where everyone had been busy with their hobbies and Zoro had tried to take a nap but the cook sitting down next to him, saying some bullshit of being tired of his sulking face, had prevented him from doing so.

But it was Robin’s request of paying their respects to the late Captain that had dragged him out of his thoughts, making him finally give up on sleeping. And even now, four hours later, sleep still didn't find him. Especially after Luffy’s affirmative answer.

Zoro was sitting on the couch, a small dumbbell in his hand, not doing any training whatsoever. He was distracted, not able to focus on anything since he decided to leave the deck and seclude himself inside the most peaceful place for him inside the whole ship.

But peace of mind also didn't find him.

He thought no one would mention her this day, but they did and his mind was quick to bring her image. Especially because he’d been dreaming about her every time he closed his eyes since they met Smoker, looking like the last time he had seen her — brown eyes, blue hair, thin lips, and a small nose. 

She was on the edge of a beautiful cliff, her back to him and her captain coat dancing with the wind, along with her hair. There wasn't anyone around, only the two of them and the solitude. He remembered not feeling his usual annoyance that was always in the tip of his fingers when she was around, and it had been odd because his feet had seemed to have a life of their own in that dream, dragging him to her. She had felt his presence, turning to look at him when he approached her. The woman gave a genuine smile, mixed with a tint of shyness and he was taken aback of how much it had warmed him.

He shook his head, trying to chase her image away.  _ It was just a fucking dream. It doesn't mean anything. She's dead.  _ Zoro looked away, facing the sea, vaguely listening to the soft and sort of melancholic melody coming to life through Brook's violin downstairs. He noticed terns flying above again and he watched them, diving to feed on the fish below, with all the freedom the sky could offer. They've been around since the day the crew left Smoker to drown in his own grief and Zoro started to wonder if the damn birds were following them. He narrowed his eye, suspicious, even knowing it was completely stupid of him to feel uncomfortable by birds.  _ Why are you chasing us, you fucking animals? I'll cut you all if you try to do something. _

He heard the steps climbing up the Crow's Nest's ladder and the ugliest eyebrow popped up. The sound of the cook’s mocking tone reached Zoro’s ears, "Are you trying to kill the terns with your one-eyed glare? I don’t think it’s gonna work, two eyes are more effective than one." 

_ Oh, for fuck’s sake. _

He dropped the dumbbell and growled, "What the fuck do you want now?"

"Oi, oi, I come in peace, you shitty swordsman! I'm only here to talk to you!" Sanji said, raising both arms defensively and climbing up the stairs.

"I have nothing to talk about." Zoro clenched his fist because he knew he was lying.

The cook snorted and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, picking one, but stopping right after. He must have remembered that Zoro definitely doesn't like smoking in that place. He put away his addiction and just sighed, "I know you and Tashigi-chan had a history, that's why I wanted to talk."

"Because now you suddenly care?"

"Cut the crap, Zoro. I'm being serious here." Sanji shot him a glare that could match his own.  _ Goddamnit, he really wants to have a serious talk. Fucking hell.  _ Zoro was tired of that, he couldn't endure anymore everyone wanting to talk to him like he had lost the most important person in his life. Especially Franky, who was giving him a hard time about sorting out his feelings so everything wouldn't pile up or whatever.  _ To hell with this feeling bullshit. I just want some time alone and be far from the witch and Chopper's mourning faces.  _

But Sanji wouldn't back down, so Zoro nodded and the cook got the message. 

He headed for the couch, making himself comfortable, one leg on it, and the other loosen. His cigarette still between his fingers, but Zoro knew he wouldn't light it, not when he had the expression of determination to hear whatever the swordsman had to say. It wasn't time to bicker with the first-mate. The fact is that he didn't want to voice any of his not-actually-a-turmoil, that was what he kept telling himself, but there was no escape when the stupid cook had the determined look on his eye.

Zoro sighed and Sanji patted at the spot by his side. He hesitated for a while and squinted, the blonde man only inclined his head, scolding him with a twitch of his eye.  _ Fuck, fucking hell. _ He complied, either way, sliding to the cook’s side, still in a comfortable distance, but he knew better. He only heard a sharp  _ "Tsk" _ before the world spun and his head was on the blonde's lap. Zoro glared, threatening him with his eye because Sanji had the worst habit of doing that, just like Luffy used to turn him upside down. 

The cook was unfazed by his glare though, "Already told ya, one eye doesn't have the same effect as two," he leaned in the back of the couch and asked again, "So, is there anything you want to say? And don't worry, I assured everyone you're fine, I'm certain you're still your usual emotionally stunted, dumbass self."

Zoro shot him a dark look, tried to stand up, but Sanji locked him in place; a hand on his chest, forcing him to stay lying on his lap.  _ There's no escaping then? Damn cook.  _ Zoro snorted and just stared at his own hands entwined, resting on his chest. Drumming his fingers and pretending to actually mull over his words, but the truth was that he couldn’t quite put his finger on what he was feeling. Was he sad? Was he angry? Or was this lump in his throat just the injustice of it all stuck inside him? He didn’t know, so he settled for a common answer, "I am fine. None of us were close to her, there's no reason to feel desperate. Not even you."

"I'm actually sad,” Sanji looked down, and Zoro indeed found the remnant of this sadness he was talking about, “She was a nice girl and I'd have liked to know her better."

"So you could hit on her with a deeper knowledge?"

"No, you caveman. I think she'd have been a good friend," Sanji said, wiping the smirk that had appeared on Zoro’s face with his glare, "Last time we all had to fight beside the Navy, and when I got hurt, she took care of my injury. Even after I spent the whole night hitting on her. She just smiled and said I should be more of a gentleman than a pervert. That actually surprised me."

_ Surprise. _ Surprised was exactly how Zoro felt when he heard the news. The shock had hit him even before the disbelief. It happened the same way the first night he had dreamed about her and the subsequent nights as well — he woke up, blinking at least three times. She hadn't appeared in his dreams in a long time and he would definitely know because whatever his subconscious offers him when he's sleeping usually doesn’t make any sense; just a bunch of noisy images that sometimes would turn into a nightmare. Like the night before. 

He stared at the ceiling and mumbled, "Yesterday, I dreamed I had forgotten about the damn woman. She was there but I couldn’t remember her name. Couldn’t even remember her fucking face.” It was a weird dream, Zoro felt very strange not knowing her.  _ Brown eyes, blue hair, thin lips, and a small nose. _ Since then he kept wondering if that was the reason he kept bringing her features to his mind?

Sanji only agreed silently and Zoro closed his eye. The last time they saw each other had been a few months ago. She was on a mission, her pervert-cook-wannabes and Smoker nowhere to be seen. The woman was undercover and it had been very weird to see her in a long dress, knowing very well she was not comfortable and would probably fall at any minute, and to see his arm linked with hers because he had decided to help her on a whim. They weren’t anything to each other, but they had tried to act like friends — not lovers, despite what the others around were saying — and somehow succeeded.  _ Sometimes, it seems like that day was something my alcohol-induced mind produced. _

“Listen, Ero-cook, I’m fine,” he clenched his fists, “Everything’s fine,” his jaw clenched involuntarily, “We’re going to that freaking island and we’ll pay our respects to the woman and go back to our journey. And that’s it. Page turned.”

He opened his eye to meet Sanji’s own, staring attentively but seeing  _ through _ him without a doubt. The man gave him a soft smile and murmured, “From the way you’re clenching your fists and your jaw, and frowning like that, this page seems very heavy to turn, Mosshead.”

_ Whatever. Doesn’t fucking matter. _


	3. not sad, not angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the angst continues for one more chapter. Sorry, not sorry.

Samsara was a very cozy island, a summer one, but with comfortable weather. It did take them a week to reach it and during the whole journey, Zoro kept wondering the reason why she had been put to rest in such a place.  _ Maybe that’s where she was from? _ But the island was far beyond the East Blue, where he found her for the first time.  _ Well, it doesn’t matter, I’ll never know anyway. _

The downtown was small, a festival happening and making them bump into people all the time, families coming and going, not actually paying attention to them. But since the island was full of marines, and  _ they  _ sure would recognize his green hair and the huge walking skeleton, they all decided to wear disguises. Better safe than sorry. 

There was no need to draw attention to themselves after all — the purpose of that visit was to only pay their respects to the marine woman. Nothing more. Even Luffy asked everyone to lay low, and not do anything suspicious. Which, obviously, made everyone just stare at him, utterly flabbergasted, gaping, and wide-eyed. His straightforward captain refusing a bit of fun at the expense of the marines was a first and the crew knew he was being serious.

They decided to split into groups and try to reach the cemetery at the same time. It was better than to just walk together and become an easy target. Zoro was put with Robin and Franky, which wasn't all that great considering the cyborg was still annoying him about the " _ feelings talk". _

And to be fair, he couldn't blame the man. Zoro did his best but he was not being his usual self since that fateful news reached them. Now he was almost sure that what he was feeling was sadness. Or anger. Still not a hundred percent certain but if the way he has been clenching his fist daily was any indication, he was going to choose anger.

"It's such a nice day today," Robin said casually.

Franky nodded, "Yeah. Such a shame we're heading to visit the grave of a pretty young lady."

Zoro rolled his eye and knew where that talk was heading. He was almost waiting for Franky's words of  _ "Between you and me, crying is not always a suuuuper manly thing to do but I won't tell anyone because you need to be one with your emotions, Zoro. You need to feel them and if you need to cry, then cry, bro. I can cry with you if you want because I am a suuuuper emotional manly man!" _ . He cringed at the thought, heard the sniffs and was almost sure the man would say all of that while crying. However, he was surprised that the one that started the conversation he was dreading was not Franky.

"It's alright to feel sad  _ and _ angry, Zoro. I guess we're all kind of feeling the same way." A hand squeezed his right shoulder tight and he was impressed to find her natural one and not one of the freaking devil fruit. 

Franky showed up at his left side and Zoro wondered for a fleeting moment if the people passing by would think the two giants were his bodyguards judging by the suits they were wearing and how they were almost smashing him between them. The cyborg also squeezed his shoulder and Zoro grimaced.

"I'm not your fucking kid, you old and creepy couple."

"Manners, my dear." The hand on his right shoulder squeezed harder and her smile was not soft anymore. Zoro shuddered when he heard the nicer tone in her voice.  _ I'm not wrong. Creepy as fuck. _

"Hah! Old and creepy. I'm old but sexy," he lowered his sunglasses and winked at him, "and Robin's creepy. Right on point, Zoro!" Franky laughed until Zoro heard a sharp  _ "Ouch _ " and saw another hand squeezing the cyborg's cheek. 

_ What did I do to deserve this? _

But they didn't try to say anything more than that and Zoro actually appreciated it. He  _ knew _ Robin’s statement of feeling sad and angry was true, it made sense. He  _ also _ knew he’d have to stop living inside his head and talk.  _ Just talk _ . He was good at keeping things to himself, but he had been bottling it all up for a week, somehow all of this would have to dry out. 

They reached the cemetery at the same time as Sanji's group. Luffy's was already there and he sighed, relieved, because obviously, nothing wrong had happened. 

The place was silent, no one was around, the sound of the festival didn't reach there. Luffy put his hands on his pockets and asked, a bit unsure, "I mean... we're not sad saaad, are we? We didn’t even know Navy Lady that much."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Usopp nodded, agreeing with the captain.

"Yeah, yeah, no reason to shed tears." Nami bit her lips. 

Chopper mumbled, cute little hoofs brushing each other, "Last time she helped me tend the wounded. She actually took care of me. And herself. Said that when you grow up alone, that's basic to know."

That was true. Basically, after Punk Hazard, all of their encounters had been filled with battles, there had been very rushed meetings, except for the one where he spent the night chasing a weapons dealer while being undercover with her. And even that night, after they had defeated a bunch of evil-looking guys from the mafia, she had also taken care of him. His small cuts and swollen lip, but didn't give him the chance to bandage her or take care of the open cut on her cheek. Zoro crossed his arms and clenched his fists discreetly. 

Robin nodded and added, "She was a kind and very just woman. She even let you guys go in Alabasta."

They all snapped their heads in her direction. 

"What? You didn't know?" Robin raised one eye in suspicion.

They all shook their heads.

"You all were unconscious and she ordered her men to not lay a finger on you. Thought you guys knew that," she said, impressed. Smiling softly, she continued, "She could have arrested you all, but chose not to."

Zoro frowned, unconsciously clenching his fists harder and looking away. Clenched his fists harder because the new piece of information left a bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe it wasn't anger in the end.

"Wow. She was a nice person, huh?" Luffy asked, somewhat downcast, his hands still in his pockets, and Zoro knew they were balled in a fist because his captain was someone who was grateful for everything, and everyone in his life, but now he would never be able to say thank you to the annoying woman. Thank her for letting them go, free to continue their journey.  _ Goddamnit sword nerd, why didn't you tell us anything? _

Usopp heavily sighed and gave everyone a wistful side smile, "Now I'm sad. We’ll never get to know her."

"Ah man, that sucks." Luffy's final words expressed what he felt. He crossed the gate of the cemetery and they all followed behind.

_ It fucking sucks, that's the truth. _


	4. tombstone

So there really was a tombstone in a graveyard and there was her name — just Tashigi, no last name, not even an epitaph. Nothing that reminded him, or the world, of her existence.

The world didn’t care about her when she was alive and the world would never know anything of her braveness. She was supposed to be buried with honors. Instead, she was put to rest in a distant island without any prestige or splendor. Of course, she probably wouldn’t want to be seen like that, Zoro knew that much, but hell if she didn’t deserve it. 

_ Fucking unfair. _

His crewmates had already left, but he chose to remain a little longer. He and Tashigi weren't close — he always reminded himself time and time again that she was just the ghost of his late friend, she was a marine and he was a pirate. They were nothing alike except for their love for swordsmanship. He could say for sure he knew nothing about her — what did she like to do in her free time? Did she have another passion other than swords? She was an orphan, Smoker had said, so how was her childhood? Who taught her about swordsmanship? Did she change her mind about his crew after the incident in Punk Hazard?

Did she change her mind about him?

He berated himself for losing the opportunity of asking her in their previous encounters. He had a whole night to do that, for fuck's sake! But had let another chance pass him by; possibly because of pride. Her opinion didn't matter, of course, she was someone that knew nothing about his past or his goals, and yet judged him as she knew. But these stupid questions had been nagging his thoughts before he goes to sleep for a long time. Well, now he would never know. Will never be able to ask and the possibility of an answer followed by a smile is forever lost.

Zoro still didn't feel devastated, even if she didn't leave his mind for the past week. Maybe because Robin gave him false hope when she read the newspaper about an incident that happened on a nearby island. It seemed the Navy was trying to cover up the whole thing, but Robin voiced her suspicion about Smoker's speech and how the last time she talked to the marine woman, she told her about this strange investigation she was working on. And it seemed the news said something about escaping women. Zoro didn't hear everything, the only thing he remembered was the sound of his heart, drumming in his ears. Hope bloomed, he couldn't deny it.

But now, he was face to face with her tombstone. All the hope crumbled and he finally felt sad, a little bit empty perhaps. He didn’t love her, but also didn’t hate her and he's not a monster to the point of not feeling bad about the death of a good person. He  _ knew _ she was good, somewhat annoying, but kind. She was not as strong as him — at the time and now, would never be — but she had a strong soul. 

Yes, he was sad indeed. With each passing minute that he kept staring at her tombstone, his hands tucked inside his pockets and earings clinking because of the wind, he felt like a hole was expanding more and more inside his chest. He knew the way he acted with her when she was alive was not the most appropriate. He didn't treat her properly, he respected her, but had never shown a bit of sympathy to the woman. They  _ were not _ friends, but he  _ didn't hate her. _

Zoro was biting the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should make a promise to her. Something told him he should, even if just for the world not forget about another great swordswoman, but he didn’t know if he could keep it. After all, Kuina's promise was way more important than the promise to a stranger. 

He didn’t feel like crying either. There was no need for that, seeing that they _were not_ _friends_ , but the whole situation reminded him a lot of the day of his late friend's funeral. Zoro cried a lot that day and sometimes, he still felt like crying. But for Kuina, not the strange copycat called Tashigi.

He looked up to the sky and the clouds were starting to become grey.  _ Rain. It was raining in Loguetown that day. _

In the end, he decided to not make any promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I like to make Zoro suffer. Don't ask me.


	5. stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The people who used to follow our ZoTash prompts on Tumblr might recognize this. ;)

The bar was too crowded for his taste, the noise too loud, the people too happy. However, that was the first bar he found, so he didn’t actually mind. As long as there was enough booze in his system until his body felt numb, he was okay with it.

Zoro had no idea where his crewmates were but he also didn’t feel like going after them. He actually didn’t feel like doing anything. Just drinking and swallowing his growing sadness was fine with him. So, he kept asking to fill his mug over and over because maybe it was time for him to get real drunk after so many years. 

He would give her that at least — his consciousness and grief were hers tonight. But not his tears.

They  _ were not _ close in the slightest, but maybe Sanji was right — Tashigi might have been a good friend. He remembered how she cared for them, in her own skittish way, the last time when they had fought together. They didn’t say anything to each other besides shouts of instructions for battles, but he noticed how she had not been rude with him, Tashigi didn’t even curse at him when he joined her in the fight.

So he has not actually heard her voice in a while.

This realization hit him when the barman was filling his mug for what? The twentieth time? Zoro was almost sure he was sleeping on the street that night. He wouldn’t be able to find his way back to the hotel for anything in this world.  _ Tch, this woman still torments me even from the beyond. _

His eyes were glassy, his stomach empty, and he didn't feel good. 

"Old man— More… booze!" He slurred his words and hit his mug on the table.

"No, sir. Please don't fill his mug. Here, to pay for his drinks," a voice said next to him. He glared at the person, annoyed about the interruption and was about to ask who the fuck that person thought he was, when a thin arm wrapped softly around his shoulders, helping him to get off the stool he was sitting on.

"O-Oi, who… who do you think— you are?"

The stranger was dressed all in black, with a hood obscuring the face. Taking a closer look and considering the proportions, Zoro could say it was a woman. But who knows, he was drunk after all.

_ Fuck it, it is a woman. _

"Oi— Oi, where the f-fuck are y-you taking me?" He tried to pull his arm back but she had a strong grip and well, he didn’t have all his faculties in check. 

"Please, be quiet. There are marines here." They left the bar only to almost bump into some sailors. She quickly dragged him to the alley’s mouth, hiding them both and waiting for the militaries to go away. “You better put on your bandana, otherwise they might recognize you.”

The stranger’s voice was soft, calm, and quiet. Zoro had the impression he had already heard that tone and that way of speaking — polite and respectful. Or maybe it was just his intoxicated brain imagining things. 

When everything was safe, she grasped his wrist and continued to guide him God knows where. “Hey, hey, where are you taking me?” He instinctively reached for his swords, drunk enough to invert the order of things — he should listen first and attack later. 

“Taking you back to your hotel. You are, clearly, in no condition of coming back on your own,” she said with the firm voice of a commander. The woman had not released his hand though. 

“Haa? Do I fucking— even know you?” He growled and this time was able to snatch his hand back. 

She turned her back to him and muttered, “No. But I know who you are, Roronoa Zoro. So, would you be so kind as to follow me? I can escort you to the safety of your hotel.”

“Not until— you show me your face, woman.” He pulled her arm with a bit more force than he had intended, yanking her back to him, her hood falling completely.

Zoro caught his breath and was left gaping, utterly dumbfounded. His drunk state was no more.

_ It is her. It can't be, but it is her. _

The woman looked at him with her chocolate eyes ( _ The same as hers _ ), with big round glasses ( _ Different, way different than hers _ ) and with such short hair, much like Sanji’s or Luffy’s ( _ Not like hers at all _ ). But it couldn’t be her. He saw her tombstone, heard from Smoker’s own mouth about her death, it  _ just could not be her. _ Was he doomed to be pranked by the destiny a second time?  _ This one is not like Kuina. This one is like Glasses. _

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that — Zoro searching in the eyes of that stranger for any sign of the dead marine, the  _ not-his-friend _ dead marine, and her looking suspiciously at him. 

Then, she raised her hand to wipe something on his cheek and asked, confusion and concern stained her own lullaby voice, "Roronoa, why… Why are you crying?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was my take for the prompt "Crying + bar" we did once in our ZoTash discord and at the time, we were joking a lot about telenovelas with their crazy plots, especially the one of dead-but-not-really. I had this idea for the prompt but wanted to do something bigger and that brings us to this fic with the perfect amount of angst. And worry not! Zoro's suffering ends here. ;)


	6. tern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The suffering is over.

"Tashigi?"

There was no denying at how her eyes slowly widened at the sound of his voice saying her name; probably for the first time. He felt the hand on his cheek jerk, calloused fingers somehow a soft caress on his face. With her mouth slightly ajar and staring at him like she was a deer caught in the headlights, Zoro knew it was her. He just  _ knew _ .  _ Fucking innocent eyes. _ Then she looked away, probably trying to hide the truth, but it was already too late.

She lowered the hand that wiped the tear, but he grasped it tightly in his own. Zoro snarled because couldn't she see how restless he was, and she would still try to fool him?  _ No fucking way, woman. _ "Don't you fucking lie to me. I know it's you, Tashigi."

The mention of her name had the same effect as before. The woman snapped her head back to glance at his eye, her expression seemed confused again. And lost, he could feel that in the way she frowned and in the way her eyes glistened with too many shed tears or no tears at all. Then she sighed deeply and dropped her shoulders, probably in defeat, "No. Not anymore. Now I'm Ajisashi."

"Ajisashi? As in a tern? The fucking bird?" Zoro gaped, couldn’t believe in his own ears.  _ No fucking way. And what the fuck with this horrible name, woman? I won't fucking call you like that. Hell no. _

"Yes…? Do you have a problem with that?" A puzzling expression setting in with the arching of her eyebrow.

"Yeah, first, it’s an awful name. Who gave you this idea? Second, these fucking birds have been following us since we met with Smokey a fucking week ago." He shook the hand that it was still in his tight grasp, talking vehemently and somehow satisfied that he was right.  _ Those damn birds meant something. I fucking knew it. _

But the name of Smoker stirred a different reaction in her — eyes wide again and worry palpable in her voice, "Smoker-san?! Did you meet him?" She hesitated for a bit and asked again, playing with the edge of her shirt with her free hand, "How is he?"

"How do you think he is? He's lost his goddamn captain. Of course he's not fucking okay, Glasses." 

The woman nodded slightly, just a soft motion of her head telling him that she knew it was a stupid question, but couldn’t help it. Zoro was well aware that the older man was like a mentor for her. Who knows, maybe even a father figure. Protecting her and taking care to toughen her up against the unjust world they all live in. 

He saw sadness cross her features and remembered all the questions he wanted to ask. Zoro deserved to know everything because he had been moping over her death, and now anger was starting to bubble up inside. 

He hates being taken for a fool, even if it was for a good cause.  _ You better have a good explanation for all this bullshit, woman. _

But when he opened his mouth with some accusations already on the tip of his tongue, he was forced to swallow it back by the sound of marching boots nearby.  _ Damn it, Marines. Where?  _ He didn't have to look for them too long. They were in the farthest end of the alleyway coming right in their direction. One of them frowned when spotted Tashigi and Zoro, eyes fixed in her face and then traveling from his green hair to his three swords. Zoro saw the moment the confusion in his face turned into one of recognition, he heard the woman muttering  _ "Shit" _ even before "Roronoa Zoro" was out of another sailor's mouth.

"Roronoa Zoro! Stop right there!" The young man screamed, but they didn't stay to hear all of his words. Tashigi pulled him by their still joined hands dragging him out of the alleyway’s mouth into the chilly night. He meant to snap his hand back, but in the current circumstances, it was better to let her take the lead. Zoro didn't know anything about that island after all.

The streets were still lively, now more than it was in the morning, and they kept running, mixing with the flood of people coming and going, bumping with strangers on the way. The sailors kept chasing them, making their way between the mass. They were too many but Tashigi seemed to know some shortcuts. And in the middle of the colorful festival happening around them, they actually stood out — all dressed in black, the woman with a hood, and Zoro with a suit. 

She seemed to notice that, bringing them to an abrupt halt and stopping by a clothes stall on the street. The old lady selling smiled gently at them, calm, probably not even noticing their ragged breaths. Tashigi didn't say anything, just picked a bright red mantle, wrapping it around him, and chose a bandana to match. She did the same for herself, getting rid of the hoodie and changing into a colorful dress she just threw over her head. Threw some berris in the old lady's hands, bowed quickly, pulling him, and forcing him to do the same.

Not running anymore, they've reached the central plaza where some presentations were going on in a stage in the back. A lot of noises and a huge crowd, swaying them and sucking them to the middle, gluing them together.  _ "Hold my hand so we don't separate" _ she said, but it really wasn't necessary. Their hands were still joined from the time she had wiped his tear. 

Tashigi turned her head in every direction, checking for an escape route. Zoro noticed the sailors reached the edge of the crowd, stretching their heads to look for them above the mass.  _ For fuck's sake. I just wanted to drink my booze alone, but it seems my life is always turned upside down when this woman is involved. _

"I don't think they'll try to get in the middle of this horde. We just have to find a way out," she whispered, her mouth close to his ear. They were facing each other so either could watch the other's back. Her eyes were still frantic, looking for a place where they could sneak out without the marines noticing. Zoro didn't know how the night would turn out, considering that ten minutes ago he was in the bar, drinking his grief away and now he was hip-to-hip with the woman he was grieving for, so he had to make things clear now.

"So it was you in the incident of the nearby island?" he almost snarled in her ear.

A loud and chirpy song started to play right at that moment, but by the way her eyes widened when she snapped her head in his direction told him she had heard his question.

"Robin," he answered her unvoiced question.

"As expected from Nico Robin," she said, close to his ear, shoulders dropping in resignation. He saw in her face how she tried to find an excuse, but not this time.

"Yeah, the woman has more brain cells than all of us combined," he said as a matter of fact while taking note of how many sailors blocking the passages ahead of him.  _ 25 men… I'm pretty sure there's more behind me. Can we beat them? Yeah, I'm sure I can, but the damn woman doesn't even have a sword with her…  _

"I bet she does. But it's not that much, is it? You and your captain share one each." Her answer dragged him out of his reverie to her smirk, a vein already popping on his forehead out of annoyance. 

"What—? You—! Feeling better already, aren't you?" He asked, gritting his teeth. 

"Yes. Thank you." The woman still had the smirk in place, but the mocking undertone was not there. He just grunted while she resumed her work of watching the troop. The happy song was replaced by a more calm one and his whole body jerked when he felt her head on his shoulder. Zoro was about to shove her off when he noticed people around them swaying together, she was just mimicking their actions. Her body was rigid, the posture of someone in alert. He sighed deeply and decided to comply, just moving with the crowd like she was doing. They were in that together after all. 

The last time, it was just the two of them, and he didn't have to dance with her to see how small she was; thin and so less robust than him. Not frail though, never frail. However, the arm circling her waist now was able to take in how slender she was, something he couldn't conceive in himself, all muscles and sharp edges. He glanced at her now very short hair and remembered her words telling him that she was someone else now. Then it hit him — in what sense?

"Roronoa, there's 20 men ahead of me, and a group of 5 are walking in the direction of the woman where I bought our clothes—"

"Glasses, what happened on that island?" They were being swayed by the other people around them, trying to get as far as possible from the sailors, but Zoro made sure to stick his feet in the ground, stopping her in place.

"Huh?"

"Answer me," he ordered, glancing at her, and not leaving any room for objection. 

She stared at him, frowning, but soon looked away. He watched her movements from out of the corner of his eye, saw her inner turmoil turn into apprehension. Her eyes moving around, scanning the whole place faster than before to finally settle in relief, eyebrows not drawn together anymore. He didn’t even need to look to know what had transpassed, just a tug in his hand told him what she had found.

"That will have to wait, Roronoa. They’re coming but I’ve found us an escape route. Let's go." She motioned with her head to the small space behind the stage that led to another alleyway, they'd just have to sneak behind cables, audio cords, and boxes. Very easy.  _ The place is hard to spot because there are so many people here, but her glasses have to work for something, huh. _

The five men were still in the clothes stall, one of them with her hoodie in hand and the old lady pointing somewhat in their direction, them both looking away at the same time and moving in the direction of the escape. The other troops were finally blending with the crowd, guns pointing to the ground, moving like lions in a savannah. Zoro noticed that, felt their intent and was incredulous that the bunch of clowns had the nerve to pretend that they were  _ hunting him _ . He genuinely felt offended, disgust boiling inside him, outraged that those pathetic excuse of soldiers thought he has ever been a prey. 

His hand flew to the hilt of Kitetsu, but her hand, the one that was joined with his all this time, finally let go only to stop him. He glared at her, aiming to make it clear that he was not okay with such audacity with only the dangerous glint in his eye, but her dead stare shut him up. Zoro remembered his own captain’s words of laying low, and although he had already broken that promise, there was no need to add more fuel to the fire. 

He let go and only nodded, gaining a nod back from her. Zoro and Tashigi looked discreetly above their shoulders. The five sailors still staring at their direction; not sure if they had been already recognized. The woman grabbed his wrist again and quick on her feet, resumed her task of guiding him to the way out. There were so many people close to the stage as well, no one would probably notice them. 

It was a tiny little space between the stage and the old building, the alleyway, and their successful escape behind it. Now that they were close, Zoro could see the place was reserved for the show staff, with various things for the presentation stored behind it. The tangled mess of cables and cords were not an illusion, and they’d have to cross that to be free from the troops. 

Zoro went ahead and when his first leg went through, he came to the realization that he was accompanied by the most klutzy woman on earth. As his other leg passed through the tangled mess, his body turned to face her, and help her not bring the whole place down. Behind her, he could see that the sailors had lost them, and it seemed that more and more people were joining and honestly, Zoro just wanted the night to end.  _ So fucking troublesome. _ Her movements were cautious and a tongue sticking out that showed concentration, Zoro wanted to laugh at her being so anxious with something so simple as walking but now wasn’t the time. They had to leave and leave no trace if possible, so he reached for her hand, navigating her through the sea of audio cords. 

_ Fuck, she won't make it, she won't make it— _

One leg went through. The corner of his mouth raised. 

_ Fuck, she'll make it. C’mon, Glasses, you can do this. _

He pulled her by her hands. Tashigi was almost smiling, celebrating the victory, but too soon. Her feet got stuck and she looked at him wide-eyed.  _ Fuck, she won't make it. _

She tripped, pulling cables and disconnecting the audio cords, the song abruptly dying, only the muffled voice of the singer remained. 

_ Of fucking course. I shouldn’t even be surprised. _


	7. hand

The woman was on the floor, face down, with her hands still in his. Her chocolate eyes were full of guilt and the blush on her cheeks was fierce, almost the same color as their clothes. Zoro pressed his lips, sighed deeply, mourning their almost successful escape. 

A forced smile on her face and he just snorted, helping her out of the cables, hands working much faster after hearing the shouts of the sailors pointing at them. 

“Goddamnit, Glasses. For just once, fucking once, couldn’t you just walk properly?!” He grunted, pulling her to her feet, grabbing her wrist for the sole purpose of not letting the damn woman trip on her two feet once more, and running out of there. 

“You surely know I didn’t do that on purpose, right?!” She shouted after him, running fast, dodging boxes and the sailors shooting behind them. But he didn’t need to look back to know that the woman had done something, the loud thud of boxes and the screams of  _ “Get the pirate scum!” _ turning into grunts of pain were enough.

They were in the open again, running along a bridge that connected with the outskirts of the city, with the sea flowing below, and the island reminded him of Water 7 somehow. An identical bridge at each of their sides, now full with sailors chasing them, trying to outrun them and ambush him and the woman ahead.  _ They had backup and now we’re outnumbered. I knew I should have ended that at the Plaza, stubborn woman. _

The marines managed to block their path in both ways, and Zoro and Tashigi weren’t able to go forward or go back. He heard her soft  _ “Fuck,” _ and  _ Yeah, damn right “fuck”, woman. Tch, I just wanted to drink, how the hell things turned out like this? _

"Where's your sword??" He asked, agitated and ignoring the shouts of  _ “Lay down your weapon, Roronoa Zoro!” _ coming from the marines.  _ Dream on Like I’d do that ever in my life, fucking clowns. _

She had her back to him, face slightly turned, afflicted in the way she bit her bottom lip, probably not wanting to face people she used to work with but answered anyway, "Long story, but not with me!"

_ Yeah, you do have a lot of explaining to do, Madam Cap'n. _

He heard the echo of orders coming from a Den Den Mushi in his back. The words "Strawhats" always clear in his ears wherever he would be, making him click his tongue. A decision had to be made, they needed to get away from there as soon as possible; his crew probably needed to set sail. "Listen, Glasses, I'm gonna regret this, I can feel it..."

The sailor still uttered some words, now telling him he was under arrest and Zoro wondered that that might be the reason why they usually don't catch the big shots. The man was making a speech instead of trying to subdue him. Now he was back-to-back with her, glancing at over his shoulder while she shouted, "What?! Tell me already!" 

The marine was still making his speech. 

"Here. Take Wado," he sighed, drawing the sword and handing to her, already waiting for the worst, and warned between gritted teeth, "And don't you fucking think of doing anything funny, Glasses."

He didn't turn to look at her face, but judging by her lack of response, he could imagine how dumbfounded she was. The man had finished his whole arrest speech and the short silence that followed told him they had to act soon, the sailors wouldn't wait for their answer.

"Oi, Glasses! Focus!" Zoro shook the sword in hand, motioning for her to take it, voice serious enough to stir her out of her stunned state.  _ You can change your name and appearance, but you’re still the same fucking nerd. _

"R-Right!" she replied and soon he felt her small hand grabbing Wado from his own. 

"Well, I hope you still know how to use a sword, marine woman." The urge to say the remark was stronger than him; he had to annoy her for some reason. When he heard her sigh, his smirk grew wider. 

"Ugh. Just shut up, Roronoa." 

There was a tiny moment of silence, something like five beatings of his heart; a moment where he took a deep breath, analyzed their surroundings packed with men in white uniforms. The sound of the water flowing below them was the only noise in the back of his mind. He needed a bit of concentration because Zoro wasn't about to mutilate them, just hurt them enough to make them unconscious. However, he wouldn't feel guilty for some broken bones in case he accidentally applied a bit more force in his blows.  _ I’m allowed some fun, right? _

With his devilish grin still in place, he dashed forward, and Tashigi did the same in the opposite direction. At their small movement, the sailors from the parallel bridges started shooting, but the former marine and him were much faster. They reflected, dodged, cut bullets in half, backslashes, sidesteps, hits with the back of the sword. Zoro used  _ Nigiri _ to beat the remnants of marines in his side and Tashigi used  _ Soru _ to cover more ground and defeat the troops on her side quicker. 

Without settling for a new plan, both picked momentum and jumped to the other bridge, landing on top of some ugly looking sailors and already turning around to keep fighting. Her warm back against his when she leaned in, blocking a sword slash in her direction, kicking the enemy in the gut a minute later. Zoro blocked an incoming attack with both his swords, the woman protected his right side, swinging the sword down so hard he swore he saw sparks flying. They both danced together; swaying to the only melody he enjoyed, the sound of swords clashing; the former marine matching his pace, the mess of a woman nowhere to be seen.

The white and shining hilt of Wado Ichimonji matching the paleness of her fingers, the fluttering of her loosen mantle while she spun and attacked with graceful movements tore his gaze away from the soldier in front of him, making him wonder for a fleeting second if Kuina would have fought like that if she was alive.  _ Maybe not. Kuina had been somewhat brutish like me. Glasses really seems to dance with the sword. _ But this short moment gave his opponent the chance to slash his right shoulder. His sharp hiss of pain caught her attention, making her turn with a swift move and hit the soldier with the buttcap of the sword. Another marine dashed to attack her from her back and with his arm, he made her duck, intercepting the blade. 

The other troop that was standing in the other bridge didn't wait for them and made their way towards where they were. _It doesn't matter. Keep fucking coming. We'll beat all of them, the sword nerd and I._ _We'll keep fighting till the last man, so bring it the fuck on._

One, two, five, ten, thirty soldiers fell and more following behind until none were standing. It took a lot of his energy to fight without the intent to kill, them both taking deep breaths. They remained in their fighting stances, attentive to the smallest of the movements, full alert in case another troop ambushed them. After a few minutes of no activity around, and only the faraway sound of the festival, they were able to relax and free their bodies of the tension of the recent fight. 

Zoro breathed out heavily, grimacing at the bleeding gash in his shoulder. Looking around, he bent down to rip a piece of cloth from a random sailor's uniforms when he felt a soft touch. The woman had beat him to it, already trying to help him remove his sleeve. His first instinct was again to push her away, but he remembered Chopper's and the Ero-Cook's words; she would always run to help someone in need, even if this someone only had a simple slash on the shoulder.

She was close, but not glancing at him, her big eyes focusing on the task of cleaning his wound with the piece of her own shirt. He scanned her face and arms for any sign of injury, but found none. Zoro smirked, but didn't mock her, "Not bad, Glasses, not bad."

The woman stopped mid-action to shoot him a glare, daggers at first and long enough to make sure he wasn't just making fun of her; warily after a second because she would probably always act with suspicion near him. However, she just nodded and finished bandaging his shoulder, tightening the knot of his bandage. Getting up, he noticed Wado was already in its sheath, her arm raising to return the sword to him, muttering seriously, "Thanks... by the way."

He simply nodded and asked, "So where do we go now?" then putting on his shirt again and getting rid of the mantle the woman had bought him. 

"They already know you're here. You can't stay."

She was right. He might have been the one to give away their presence and apparently, judging by the alarmed voice that came from the Den Den Mushi, his friends had been already spotted. But they'd be alright, he knew that. His eye searched for hers, but she was collecting the communication snail and an ordinary sword from a fallen soldier. And just by looking at her made him wonder: would  _ she _ be alright?

"Come with us then," he announced. He was not one to recruit people, that was his captain's job, Luffy was the one with the good intuition for good people. But he couldn't just turn his back on her, Zoro knew that was something Luffy wouldn't do. 

She turned her head in his direction abruptly, frowning and seeming to not believe in her ears, "What? No. No, I can't."

"Why not? You're not a marine anymore and woman, you saw how much chaos you can cause unsupervised. Luffy won't let me leave you here after he finds out you're alive."

"I'm not a pirate, Roronoa! I can't sail with you people!" she waved her arms, trying to make her point.

"Yeah, no shit, if there's someone who's not fit to be a pirate that person is you," he scoffed and crossed his arms. Did she think he was stupid? He didn't need much time in her company to know at least that, "Of fucking course I know you're not a pirate, woman. But you're not staying in this island on your own."

Her glare turned cold and her eyebrows knit in anger, he knew what was coming already. She was trying to defy him with only her eyes and he wouldn’t back down. They stared at each other for a while and after a long silence, she decided to speak again, hurting crossing her features for a brief moment.

"You say that because you think I can't take care of myself, right? Ugh, how long are you going to keep despising me, Roronoa?” she crossed her arms and he could  _ feel _ the fury underneath her stoic expression. After a deep sigh, she just mumbled, “Why don’t you just leave me be?"

She gathered her plundering and turned her back to probably leave him in the cold night.  _ No fucking way, woman. I still want some explanations.  _ So he grasped her arm, halting her steps, making her gasp when he pulled her to stand face to face with him.

"I'm not despising you, woman, I’m fucking worried about you! Is that fucking hard to understand?!” he shouted, although he didn’t want to do that, but she was already coming with the same stupid speech she always used when he was around. It annoyed him to no end, especially now considering they were racing against the clock, soon more marines would show up, he was sure of that. He shook his head and balling the fists, he continued, “You’re in danger, damn it! I swear to God or whatever the fuck you believe, you're really insufferable—"

"Worried? You were...worried?"

The woman couldn’t even hide her disbelief, eyebrows shooting up.

"Why the fuck do you think we're here? We thought you were  _ dead _ ! I saw your tombstone, we were there earlier today, you were truly dead and—" Flashes of simple and dull tombstone with only her name and no story behind it crossed his mind making his knuckles white from clenching his fist so much.

"Is that why you were crying?"

He twitched his eye and frowned in confusion, "Wha—? Crying? I wasn't fucking crying, woman. Don't be stupid."

The woman opened her mouth, a definitely hot-headed reply in the tip of her tongue, but she was forced to swallow her words when they heard the characteristic sound of a call from the Den Den Mushi and the rushed voice of a person in the other side of the line.

“Lieutenant Ramus! Lieutenant Ramus! Are you and your troops there? Did you manage to capture Roronoa Zoro and the woman that was with him? Lieutenant Ramus! Is anyone there? We need backup in the harbor! The Strawhats are heading for the harbor!”

The former Captain stared intently at him the whole time and he didn’t dare to break the eye contact. So he was right, his crew was getting ready to set sail and he had to hurry. She just nodded, understanding his intention somehow.  _ Well, she did say she was getting me to the hotel. Change of plans then. _

He looked around, deciding which way it would be the best, but not so sure where he actually was. Zoro heard her scoff and pull him by his sleeve, “You’re hopeless. Let me guide, Roronoa.”

Zoro looked daggers at her but she just turned to follow the exact opposite path he had mentally chosen. She didn’t give even one step before a hand circled around her ankle, startling both of them. 

"C-Cap...Captain-chan?" one of the many marines lying on the ground said between breaths, tired and beaten, "I-I knew it w-was you, C-Captain T-Tashigi… y-you're a-alive…" 

_ Shit. _

Her eyes were wide with fear and he could feel how dangerous the few relieved words were. Clearly the woman was running away from something, her fake death had a strong reason behind it, and judging by the dread in her expression, no one could know she was alive. He stared intently at the face of the young man on the floor and suddenly, something clicked. That marine was the one that recognized them in the alleyway!  _ How did he recognize her? She's a bit different with this hair and those new glasses.  _

She was frozen in place and Zoro decided to take action, knocking out the fallen marine again when he heard the weak sound of boots and shouts. The woman was so tense that didn't even spare a second to scold him.

"Let's go, Glasses."

She didn't answer anything, only quickening her pace, dragging him with her. While running, she gave him some information, telling him that they were lucky because the harbor was indeed close. They wouldn't have to keep running, hiding in the shadows of the alleyways, with the main streets were full of marines. Leaving the protection of the shadows of another alleyway, quickly as they could, only to turn in a corner of a huge old building and bump straight into a group of three marines, far from their troop, probably just slacking off. 

Both Tashigi and Zoro stopped mid-run and looked at the marines gaping wide, most likely not believing they were in front of them. One of them was quicker to recover from the perplexed state and screamed, as loud as he could so the troops ahead could hear them.

"Sir! It's Roronoa Zoro!! We got him!!"

"Shit. Well, it does make our run to your ship faster." she glanced at him from out of the corner of her eye, turning around and deciding to use the main street. The other soldiers were far away, which gave them a good advantage. The avenue was huge and long, the way to the harbor was at the end of it, they could see it already. Running as fast they could, making a bit hard to breathe, their lungs burning from the intense physical effort.

When they almost reached the end of the avenue, Zoro could clearly see Sunny, Robin, Brook, and the cook fighting some soldiers trying to get on board of the ship, Franky already getting ready to set sail. He heard some screams and shouts, voices he would recognize anywhere, and turning his head to his right, he managed to see Luffy, Nami, Usopp, and Chopper running in their direction, but with a horde of marines in their tail. 

"Zoro!! Straight to the Sunny, don't get lost!" Luffy yelled to him, probably not even noticing Tashigi at his side. Marines defeated, Nami and Usopp managed to climb the ladder, Sunny's anchor not down anymore, the ship already moving, Luffy still facing some opponents on land with Chopper attached in his head and soon stretched to get on board of Sunny. 

When he and Tashigi reached the edge of the harbor, they had to keep running to catch the ship, Luffy getting ready to stretch his arm to pull Zoro to Sunny and the safety of their home, Tashigi was still running beside him. When Luffy's rubber arm circled three times around Zoro's arm, he knew that was the moment. He looked at her, the woman still seemed scared and confused, so he yelled to force her to make a decision.

"C'mon, Glasses, you gotta make up your mind right now!"

He already felt his feet leaving the ground, but he stretched his hand for her anyway. There was no room for hesitation, although he saw uncertainty in her eyes.  _ C'mon Glasses, now's not the time to be stubborn! _

Maybe his expression told her something, he didn't know, but he saw when the look in her face became pure courage when she got ready to take the impulse.

She took his hand.


	8. distraction

She was mortified.

Her hand covering her face, she couldn't believe what she had just seen. She could almost hear the laughter of her colleagues, the thought of it making her squirm.  _ I know they won't let me live this down for as long as I live. They'll frame this to show to me when I'll be an old lady, I'm sure of it!  _

Tashigi opened one eye only, peeking through her fingers at the wanted poster once more. There she was, dressed as a nun, her garb all ripped and dirty, showing more of her legs than she'd have liked. Her glasses smashed on the floor, a plastic stick in one hand that she had mistaken as her sword, a gun in the other, pointing at the exact opposite direction where her opponents were.

_ Why am I like this? Why do these things always happen to me? _

She looked right and left, and when she was sure no one was around, ripped the poster off the wall. One last look at her embarrassing poster, and she sighed, blowing her bangs off her forehead and crumpling the paper. She decided to keep it in her pockets for future inspection though. She also started considering ripping off all of her posters she'd find along the way, but the sight of the two cloaked figures ahead of her was enough to make her stop with her silliness.  _ Hmph, I’ll worry about this later, now I have to work. _

She put her hood and nodded, starting to walk by their side. Another small island, another weapons retrieval mission from corrupted marines. In the beginning, she felt dirty when she was summoned to this kind of operation, she felt like betraying her own beliefs, betraying who she was. But every time she'd start doubting herself, she'd remember  _ that day _ , a year ago at Samsara Island. She had been dead for almost a week and Tashigi thought that changing her name was enough to make her accept her supposedly new life. 

How naive she had been. 

Only after lying awake in bed, crying and alone, sometimes with a bottle of sake next to her, she managed to acknowledge that her rebirth happened in the few seconds she had studied  _ hi _ s worried features. Her eyes lingering in his lone one, and in the very moment she had grabbed his hand. A leap of faith, that's what he had made her do.

And in a certain way, it made sense. She had made her decision on an island that said a lot about her whole situation. Samsara, in a few words, is the representation of the cycle of death and rebirth. Tashigi knew she was dead to the world, her old self gone and truly buried in Samsara Island, the flightless bird was no more. And she was given the chance to reborn, so this time… this time she  _ had _ to fly.

"Overthinking again, Tashigi-chan?" The sweet voice of the young woman stirred Tashigi, the distress probably visible to her by the way she played with the hem of her shirt. She hid her hands inside her pockets, there was no reason to worry the other woman.

"No, I'm...fine," she said. Koala knew she was lying, although by now everyone knew her already. Wearing her heart on her sleeve was one of her biggest traits, she didn’t need to deal with a lecture from Hack right now. 

They were reaching the outskirts of the town, the scenery becoming poorer and poorer. The core of the town was full of life, wealth exploding from each corner of the street, but where they were now, it almost seemed like a ghost town. Empty houses with broken windows and fallen buildings tell the story of an old oppression. There was no one in sight, only birds singing and resting on top of old wooden boards, and occasional mutts wandering the deserted streets where the weeds were taking over.

The sight was saddening. She knew there were people who lived there, even though none of them would come out to greet them. But the whole place smelled like mistreatment and tyranny. She always felt sick about it. Every single mission. She should have been used to it by now, but the desire to scream has never disappeared. And maybe it was for the fact that the injustice of it all never sat well with her that had driven her to do what she did a year ago. 

The silence would swallow them if it wasn't for the distinct sound of Tashigi and Koala's heels. Hack was silent as usual, always quiet and calm. His presence actually making her less restless. And Tashigi was grateful for being paired with them, God knows how much the Chief of Staff could be a handful sometimes. 

Koala tilted her head and grinned at her, seeming undisturbed with the whole situation. Which made sense, the shorter woman must have seen and felt the worst in her life. But the kindness was always there in her sweet smile and big round eyes. 

"Do you want us to drop you somewhere after this or are you coming back with us?" she asked, resting her index finger in her cheek, thinking. A bit hopefully, Tashigi would say.

"I'll probably look for a bar by the harbor and I'll meet you both later," she nodded, smiling softly when she saw the biggest grin breaking out on Koala's face. Tashigi was almost getting ready to support the small girl's weight before she jumped on her when she heard the familiar sound of an incoming call on their mini Den Den Mushi.

_Purururu_ _Purururu_

Tashigi checked her watch and the three of them sighed. Koala accepted the call.

"Hey, guys… are you there?"

Koala rested her hand in her waist, the distinguishable body language that made it clear when she was angry at him, "Of course we are here, Sabo-kun! And that's not the time you said you'd be calling. We're almost reaching the place!"

Tashigi heard the Chief of Staff clearing his throat and a soft sniff.

"Oh sorry, there was—," a  _ clear _ sniff this time, "some distraction."

Tashigi raised her eyebrows, alarmed, and Koala stopped walking on the spot. What kind of distraction? A distraction in the form of an Admiral, like the one he faced in Dressrosa? A distraction in the form of a Navy fleet? Or in the form of a Cipher Pol agent? 

She could feel the same distress in Koala's eyes, "Distrac—," the officer blinked slowly, " _ Distraction _ , Sabo-kun?!" They heard another sniff and Koala grimaced, asking again, impatiently, "And why are you sniffing?"

"Which distraction, Sabo?" Hack demanded.

A long sniff this time and then he sounded joyful again, "The distraction in the form of a rubber," he laughed and Tashigi's heart stopped. He continued, but her heart didn't seem to follow suit, "Did you get it? Rubber?"

If Sabo, who was supposed to be on his way to find them and take them safely back had found  _ rubber _ on the way, it also meant that there were other  _ distractions _ coming along with it. She found her voice again after a few seconds, "Yes, Sabo-san, we know who you're talking about. Are they… here?"

"Soon, yeah. We can meet them later if you want to see Robin, Koala!"

Koala was almost losing her temper, they were almost on time after all. Sabo was supposed to call and give them information about the surroundings, not chit chat. Tashigi hesitated, her mission forgotten for a moment, heart still threatening to fly out of her ribcage. 

_ These damned pirates. Why? Why can't they just leave me alone? Goddamnit. Pull yourself together, Tashigi. Focus on the mission.  _

"That's not important now, Sabo-san. We've got a mission to accomplish and we're almost late. If you're calling, it's because you got us our badge so we can get in, right? Then we'll talk later after the weapons are retrieved." Her voice left no room for questioning, stern and final, authority intrinsic in her from years in the military.

"Heh, you'd really be a good commander, huh?" he laughed joyfully, much like his own little brother and continued, with a lingering mirth in his voice, "Yes, you're right. I've sent the Marine badges through a raven. Since Tashigi is the leader of this mission, she's… Captain Sora, Koala is the Commander… Pamela and Hack is Commander… Toru. There, these are the names. Do you know them, Tashigi?"

With a heavy sigh, she answered, tired, "Yes. Yes, I know them, Sabo-san."

The hands in her pockets balled into a fist, her nails hurting the palm of her hands. Frowning and clenching her jaw, she looked at Koala who mouthed a distinct and soundless  _ "I'm sorry" _ and felt Hack's hand squeezing her shoulder, trying to show his consideration, although it seemed like he was crushing her bones.  _ No. I should have known by now. No one is probably clean inside the Navy. _

But no matter, she had a more important matter at hand. She just nodded, motioning for them to keep walking. The scenery remained the same until they reached an old hut made of wood. It was abandoned, almost like the other houses around. Sabo had given them the instructions and it seemed to match. The door, barely hanging on its hinge, squeaked when they opened to find nothing inside. But Tashigi knew better, having been on many missions like this in the course of the last year. Tapping her foot on the wooden floor, she found the hatch she was looking for. 

Sabo gave them his go signal. They had to be quick enough to finish whatever was happening down there and get back with the weapons for the Army. And in the face of another possible battle, she wished Shigure was there, attached to her hip. Tashigi missed her lost sword dearly.  _ Well, either way, I'm a swordswoman. I'll fight even with… a damn stick in my hand. _

Before Koala decided to hang up, Sabo called for Tashigi, giving her one last remark, "By the way, Tashigi, nice portrait!"

Koala and Hack snorted, holding their laughs, and she blushed fiercely. Fixing her glasses, she said, "Ugh. Goodbye, Sabo-san."

They went down the stairs of the hatch.


	9. reborn

"Are you coming with us? To the party?" Koala asked, making Tashigi stop dead in her tracks, three big rifles in her hands. The other woman's big eyes were full of hope, looking at her like a lost puppy, and trying to soften her heart. Tashigi chuckled. She had found it very hard to say no to the cute Officer during the past year. 

"I'm sorry, Koala-san. I'm not in the mood for parties," she dumped the rifles inside a big wooden box, almost full of weaponry; Hack picking them up and storing inside the ship. That was the last load of their successful mission and they were ready to get back. It had been fairly simple, no one expected them there, so the ambush worked. However, she could feel the heavy badges inside her pockets. Names of people she knew, admired even, involved with things Navy officers shouldn't be part of. 

"Tashigi," Hack said, drawing her attention to him above her in the ship, "I know it's hard, some of the missions the Commander has sent you on, but you need to remember your goal. Don't lose faith. You have people you want to protect there, don't you?"

His words hit close to home and suddenly she was tired, very tired. It was a tiredness that had been anchored inside of her for days, months. The type of tiredness that made her bones heavy and her shoulders buckle with the weight of her emotions. Her heart hurt with his words but he was right.  _ You need to accept that, Tashigi. You promised yourself you'd fly. Then stop with the excuses and freaking fly.  _

She forced the lump down her throat, eyeing the three revolutionaries in front of her. Koala, Sabo, and Hack had never mistreated her for being a former marine and all they wanted was for her to fully accept her predicament. She knew they'd help her achieve her goal, but for that, she would have to allow herself to fly great distances and leave some parts of her old self behind. 

Tashigi nodded and answered as a good military soldier she will always be, feeling as Hack had given her a command, "Yes. I  _ will _ protect them," then softening her voice, she told Koala, "Yet, I won't go to the party, Koala-san. I'll just grab a drink and meet you here after midnight, okay?"

Koala pouted but didn't try to persuade her. Tashigi hugged her, said her goodbyes to the three of them, and left to find a bar. It's not that she didn't want to meet the pirates, maybe she would even like to see the face of  _ that man _ , but it was a tradition she started without noticing. Every single mission seemed to her as a rebirth of some sorts and if it was successful, a drink would be in order for celebration. 

Wandering in the direction of the bars in the harbor, she wondered if that started the very same day only a year ago. When she took his hand and was pulled to the madness that surrounded that crew, Sabo’s little brother and the most hyperactive pirate captain she had ever met, hugged her tight, babbling something about Alabasta and thank you’s; the crew following him and embracing her fully, all comically sniffing. Then all she could remember was being pulled upside down and a party starting right after. 

However, in the middle of all that warming chaos, she remembered making a toast with the swordsman. She remembered him saying that she had cheated death, kicked a bunch of marines' asses, and now was an outlaw on a pirate ship and  _ that  _ called for a celebration.  _ Bastard. Like I had asked for any of that to happen. _

Tashigi didn’t go too far to find herself a bar. The first one seemed good enough. It wasn't fancy and not completely a joint. It suited her needs. Accommodating herself on a single stool, she looked around, afraid that someone would recognize her, but she has always taken extra care in her disguises. Their fake Navy uniforms were in the trash now, and she had decided for a hoodie again, covering most of her face. When she ordered her drink, the bartender paid her no mind. The place was packed with people anyway. 

Remembering the paper in her pocket, she took in her hands, mortified again because in fact, everyone had already seen it. Of course, they had, it was brand new. She couldn’t help the blush and the sigh that escaped her lips. At least, she was used to that piece of paper in her hand. One day after she agreed to travel with them to the next island, she received the wanted poster. She had been shocked, the Strawhats had even joked she had been broken beyond repair. 

Her photograph had been so much better than the one she was staring at now, still with the short hair and her expression on alert. They had chosen a photo of when she and Zoro were in the middle of the crowd, her head resting on his shoulder, looking sideways, frowning, and wary of their surroundings. She had blushed when the crew made fun of them for being so close together, but the two of them knew that had not been a romantic situation. 

And they had continued to do that for the whole week she spent on Sunny. They had even tried to convince her to stay with them, to become a pirate!  _ "Stay for Zoro, he'll miss you so much!" _ , Usopp had said, while bursting into laughter. The audacity of those pirates had no limits! She had said to Zoro that she was not a pirate, she  _ could not _ be a pirate. There was so much to do, she had started something on her own and had to finish it. Their style of living freely didn’t fit her. Not at the time, at least.

“Damn, this is some funny shit, woman. And look, that’s a fucking good bounty.”

She knew that voice. She’d know that voice  _ anywhere _ .

Her heart skipped a beat once or twice, she didn’t know. Her hand gripped the crumpled paper stronger than she had intended to, ripping it in the process. Tashigi had been so engrossed and distracted by her photo that she didn’t even pay attention to the numbers in the poster indeed. 

_ What?! 400 million berris?  _

“Right? That’s almost the same as mine, Glasses. Are you trying to compete with me, even in that?” 

_ Probably because of the goddamn rumors that I'm finally joining the Revolutionary Army. Damn it. _

She didn’t look at him yet, but she  _ felt _ his smirk.  _ It’s always a competition between us, isn't it? _

Tashigi fixed her glasses and sighed, annoyed, “You should really stop thinking that my life revolves around you, Roronoa. Aren’t you being a little conceited?” Finally turning to look at him, a serious expression on her face, irritation in the way her eyebrow arched. 

The damned pirate had the nerve to have a thoughtful expression on his face while sitting down in the vacant stool to her right, ordering some booze and finally settling for a sly smile, “You see, Glasses… In the past, I used to think you had a thing for me. I mean," he took a sip of his beer after the bartender slammed the mug on the counter, and shrugged, "I never saw you chasing Torao, for example. So yeah, it might make sense that you like to make your life revolve around me.”

She slowly blinked, baffled, the poster not on her mind anymore. He also dared to look stunning with the smug grin in his face, leaning on the counter, his right hand supporting his head. He looked the same as a year ago, dangerously handsome as always.  _ Probably still a moron that gets lost all the time. _

It's been a year since they haven't seen each other and she had plans to keep it that way. 

Tashigi scanned his face, studying his features, her eyes lingering on his one. She remembered the day she had to say goodbye. She was in another harbor, ready to start her new path of justice. They were saying their goodbyes, Nami blaming Luffy for not being able to behave and convince her to stay. She appreciated their hospitality and was truly grateful. 

When it had been just the two of them, with the crew making sure to leave them alone for whatever the reason, she was sincere when he asked if that was the last time they'd see each other.  _ "Most likely, yes," _ she had answered. Their paths shouldn't cross, his goal so much different than hers. 

Zoro poked her forehead, "Oi, are you broken?"

She waved his hand off her, leaving her thoughts behind.  _ It's never safe for me to stay near this man. That week only made me be more drawn to him. Stupid swordsman. _

"Whatever, Roronoa. Why are you here anyway? Don't you have a party to be?" 

"You should be there too. Captain was a little upset, you know? You shouldn't treat your saviors this way," he said, pretending to be hurt.

"Wha—? Saviors?!"

She couldn't believe he called themselves "saviors." She hadn't asked for them to save her! She was fine on her own and  _ they _ decided to go to Samsara Island on the pretext of paying their respects. And everything spiraled out of control because she was dumb enough to go out of her route that day and protect him from the marine patrols. She could still remember how dumbstruck she had been when spotting Roronoa Zoro inside that bar.

"Damn, you're still unbelievable," he laughed wholeheartedly and the sound was still odd in her ears. He looked almost innocent, like he wasn't someone who could actually cut a ship in half. She stole a glance at his swords quickly, just enough for him not to notice and call her the only nickname she actually agreed with. But of course he saw it, fast as always, but no mockery came. He appeared to remember something, exclaiming, "Ah! Listen, I came here to give you something!"

_ Give me something? What could you possibly give me? _

The air got knocked out of her lungs the moment he dropped a bundle on the counter with a thud. She saw it next to his three swords but her brain hadn't conjured any opinion about it. It could have been just a new blade of his. 

The package was wrapped in a thick beige cloth and she had the urge to unwrap it. Her heart knew what it was somehow, Tashigi could feel it in the goosebumps that have started to appear in her skin. 

"Go on, woman. Open it. I don't have the whole night," he snorted, but encouraging her at the same time, signaling with the nod of his head.

She swallowed hard and touched the bundle. Of course it was a sword, but not  _ any _ sword; it was hers It was  _ Shigure _ . Hands unwrapping it fast to find the hilt and the sheath she knew so well. Her eyes started to tear up, tears she would hate to let them fall in front of him threatening to spill, the emotion of seeing it after a whole year promising to swallow her whole.

Her chin wobbled, and her voice wavered, "S-Shigure… R-Roronoa, you…"

Zoro raised his hand to stop her, "It was just luck, woman, but I found it," he looked at Shigure and then at back her, "That fucking Noble should not have had your sword."

The mention of it brought back the memories she still tried to forget. She had told him everything; she didn't plan it, but she had anyway, flashes of what happened coming to her mind. The investigation, so many women missing, only to be found captive on an island. She could still remember her affliction when she reported to headquarters and heard their answer to "let it go". How could they “let it go”? Women enslaved, mothers and daughters taken away from the comfort of their home to become the property of other people, nasty and evil people.

She closed her eyes and mumbled, "I've been on a constant cycle of parts of me dying and coming back, stronger or different than before since the day I had to fake my death, Roronoa," she grasped her sword tighter, "I had to leave many things behind, but Shigure was something I didn't want to leave, and I mourned its loss every single day."

Shigure was there with her when she decided to go to the island anyway, when she stepped in front of a woman and her child, taking the bullet that left the gun of the patriarch of a Noble’s family straight in her shoulder. It was her sword that hurt the man’s arm, that had made him scream in agony. It was Shigure that battled the Vice-Admiral who was the head of that trafficking ring and made business with those rotten people. But her blade wasn’t enough to protect her from the bullets in her back, bullets that took her consciousness and supposedly “killed” her. 

And since then, her forever companion was lost, but her life had been spared. Saved by the people that she refused to work with but that had given her a chance to fight.

"Thank you, Roronoa,” she uttered, honesty dripping in her voice. Tashigi opened her eyes to meet his stare, impassive but understanding. 

He nodded and took another sip of his drink, asking casually, "So… A Revolutionary now?"

"Not quite. I answer to them as well, but I also act on my own," she answered, attaching her sword to her hip where it belonged. 

"The other woman, the shorty one told me you're going back with them this time." He crossed his arms, supporting both on the counter and casted a sideway glance. Her eye twitched, she could feel he was digging for something.

"Yes."

"But she said to me you still hesitate."

She closed her eyes, massaged her temples because of course, Koala would have said something. "I've been a Marine my whole life, Roronoa. Being with them…"

"The Revolutionaries have their eyes on the World Government, right? Don't forget what happened to you, woman. You can't keep protecting those fuckers."

She hated how right he was. But she also hated how she kept telling herself the same thing, over and over, after every single mission where she could see their evil roots spreading across the globe, with so many inhuman actions and no justice being held against them. They were not Gods or Goddesses if they wanted to burn the world in fire and brimstone.

_ Shigure found its way back to me for that purpose? For me to continue fighting? _

"But the Navy—"

"The Navy is fucking rotten too, Glasses,” he interrupted her, a raw intensity in his voice that had taken her aback, “Besides, Sabo said what you've been doing from outside is helping their revolution from the inside. You need to suck it up if you want to help Smokey, woman."

_ Smoker-san… Roronoa is right, Hack is right… I’ve failed you once, I can not fail you again. C’mon, Tashigi. You’ve been given another chance to change things.  _

She felt a strong hand squeeze her shoulder, much like Hack had done earlier that day, but the voice was friendlier now, soothing her anxiety, "Go with them, Glasses. You're needed. You know too much of their rotten schemes. Besides, the woman that was part of our crew for a week was a stubborn one. She wouldn't give up things easily. She was just bad at picking up an awful name as… What was it again? Ajisashi?"

Tashigi shrugged his hand off her shoulder, annoyed when he laughed and mocked, “What’s with you, that you like to embarrass yourself all the damn time?” She glared daggers at him but that seemed to have no effect since he continued laughing at her expenses. 

“It was a good name! They’re seabirds and I’ll have you know they're very pretty!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, are you a bird nerd now too?” He hid his face behind his hand. She blushed because no, she was not, but what’s wrong with liking to take pictures of birds once in a while?  _ Damn you, Roronoa. That’s what I get for letting my guard down. _

Angry, she slammed her berris on the counter, drank the rest of her booze in one sip and turned to go, ready to leave him behind. She left the bar, the weather outside very chilly, but the street full with people, full of life. It was weird because there was basically no one around in the morning, but people survived anywhere and in any way they could. 

Glued to the spot, staring intently at the scene before her, she didn’t have the chance to escape from the swordsman. And it didn’t matter at all. He was right. She had to keep fighting and it didn’t matter her conditions. If she had strength left, why not?

“Let’s go, woman. I’ll escort you to the safety of your ship,” he mocked, imitating the way she had spoken to him a year ago. 

She laughed, tears appearing in the corner of her eyes because it wasn’t only the mocking tone that was funny, but the mere idea of Roronoa Zoro, outstanding swordsman and powerful pirate, escorting someone without getting lost was hilarious by itself. Zoro noticed, growling some curses and walking ahead, forcing her to follow him.  _ Thank God the harbor is not far and it’s basically a straight line, so we’re safe. _

However, he managed and she was grateful for the small gesture. She knew he was a caveman but a caveman with a good heart. Sabo, Koala, and Hack were already there, only waiting for her. The shorter woman couldn’t even contain her happiness, waving nonstop and smiling widely. Tashigi had been going on missions involving Marines nonstop for about six months, never staying anywhere or even going back to Momoiro Island, so she could understand their relief. 

She turned around, watching him for a few seconds, no words spoken. Then he broke the silence, probably having to go back to his crew already, “So. I guess this is it.”

"Yeah."

His hands inside his pockets, he tilted his head and shot her a smirk, “So. Is this the last time we’re gonna meet, sword nerd?”

_ So dangerously handsome and I hate you for that, Roronoa Zoro. _

She gave one step, two steps, and was face to face with him. This time it was his guard that was lowered and she took as a chance to thank him again. Standing on the tip of her toes, Tashigi entangled her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.  _ You brought Shigure back to me and you made me realize time and time again that I can still fight.  _

His hands that were frozen in the air, decided to circle around her waist in the end. And he was warm, a stark contrast with the chilling night. This time she didn’t know if her answer was sincere or just wishful thinking, but it didn’t matter. "No. No, I don’t think so, Roronoa."

“Good. Because if your life revolves around me, how are you going to live if we don’t see each other?”

She snorted and gave a light punch to his shoulder, but the way his arms tightened around her waist didn’t go unnoticed.. She disentangled herself from him, berating herself for missing his warmth, which was completely improper. 

Turning and walking to the ship, she said, loud enough and not turning back, “Whatever. Thank you and goodbye, Roronoa.”

While climbing the stairs, she heard him scoff, “Goodbye is too final, woman. You have the weirdest ability of showing up in the most unwanted places.”

Tashigi only waved at him, without turning to face his smug expression, one she was certain he had on. 

_ We’ll meet again, I’m sure… somehow you have the weirdest ability of making part of my Samsara. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I do have to thank Inu for the nun idea, it's pure gold and I love it.
> 
> Second, it's over, people! Another angst fic, but I told you all it'd have a happy ending. After I wrote everything, I kinda realized that this shippy yeah, but I basically wrote something that bound them in a certain way but made sure they'd keep going on their own journeys until the moment they could meet again, with a bunch of new experiences and that bond would get stronger and stronger. Do I make sense? I don't know, I'm really half asleep.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all liked it!  
> (Especially you, Nana <3)

**Author's Note:**

> First things first, a huge thank you to the Law and Sanji of my life, [ni21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ni21/) and [Inurshuh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inurshuh) for beta reading and always being very patient with me. You also should check it out their fics, btw: [Hot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561745) by Inu is so good and [Scars on the Back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222232/chapters/58356634) by ni is one of my precious gifts and has one of the best scenes I've read so far!
> 
> Second, _Saṃsāra_ basically represents the cycle of death and rebirth in most Indian religions. I always kinda liked the core concept of it and it might apply to some things here. :)
> 
> Thank you!


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